Thursday, April 2, 2009

March/April 2009














Right now things are going great with me and Jason. I'm still looking for a job,but I'm leaving that in Gods hand.He has a plan for our lives and I'm ready for that plan.We had a pregnancy scare,But I know God has a plan for everything and i know when the time is right it will happen... We are hoping to go to Texas for Easter Weekend.To see my dads side of the family, That I haven't seen in 9 years, I'm so stoked, Jason will be meeting them for the first time, and i cant wait..We are going to have so much fun.








Baseball Season is getting ready to start and we can't wait.Lets go Yankees








So thats all thats going on with us right now































Saturday, January 31, 2009

Deployment Poem

It was the day that she had been dreading for so long
She wanted to breakdown but reminded herself to stay strong
She embraced her Love and looked deep into his eyesS
tarted to choke up, but told herself "don't do it, don't cry"
As she watched him walk away and get on the plane
She knew that life would not be the same
At night before she went to sleep, she kneeled down to pray
She hoped that everything would go smoothly while he was away
That night she had a dream of him and when she woke up, she wanted to tell
She rolled over, opened her eyes and realized that this was going to be hell
Later that day, she got a call and heard her Love's voice
The call was short, but she knew it wasn't his choice
She took pictures of the two of them and put them all around
When all of a sudden, she fell to the ground
Her chest felt really tight and it was getting hard to breathe
Her husband was deployed to~this korea is what she was trying so hard not to believe
She laid on the floor and cried a bunch of tears
All she could really think about were all of her fears
She marks off the days one by one
And as far as breakdowns go, she's had about a dozen
She talks to him a few times a week
But he's been really busy, work is at a high peak
Whenever she is with family/friends, her feelings are what she tries to hide
She doesn't want them to know about all of the pain she feels inside
Trying so hard to put on a believable smile
She knows it won't be a real one for quite a while
She pulls out his picture and looks at his face
And wishes he was back home at their place
She goes home and decides to lay down and look at the stars
She knows he sees the same ones even though they are so far
She goes inside and kneels down to pray
She asks God to give her courage and strength
Asks him to watch over her man
While he is in that dangerous foriegn land
She grabs her husband's picture, looks in his eyes and says "Thank you Babe for everything you do"
With tears streaming down her face, she also says "I love you"
The time has finally come, the day is now here
Her hero is coming home, they've made it through the year
She sees her husband walk off the bus and runs into his arms
She breathes a deep sigh of relief because she now knows he is safe from harm
She gives him a kiss, smiles and looks deep into his eyes
And tells him "Now everything is perfectly fine"

How I'm feeling right now


Why do you keep doing these things?
Its always the same old fights over the same old things...
Nothing is ever going to change.
I feel like I am merely beating my head against a wall.
Like I'm handcuffed to the devil.
One day, one day you will wake up and it will all be crystal clear to you...
What you did wrong.
Where your loyalties should have been.
Who was really there for you and why I no longer am.
I wont go on like this forever.
You have turned me into something that even I do not recognize.
I live and breathe with so much anger and hatred,
I feel like my insides have all but rotted and fallen away.
I am but a shell of the person that I used to be...all thanks to you.
I do strongly believe in Karma, but my belief is beginning to falter,
I see everything you do to everyone and still receive no retrobution (sp?)
I think even Karma has learned that you are a waste of time...
Please just go away, just leave me alone. I cant take this anymore.
Im not the person that you are, i will never be.
Though I am beaten and my soul itself it bruised, I will prevail.
I will survive. You cant put me out that easily,
I still have a tiny little ember inside me that is dying to turn into a raging inferno....
maybe i'll let it. Maybe i'll let it burn me alive and take you with me as collateral damage.....
I hate you... I swear I hate you....

I'm God's Warrior


The fires may come,But my faith will not falter.
Though trials spear my life,My love for God will not be altered.
It is in Him that I am strong.It is in Him that I endure.
It is in Him that I am cleased of the wrong.It is in Him that I remain pure.
Scathe this life, though you may.Destroy what I have worked for so hard, everyday.
Yet my future is set, and no foe can destroy His will.His plan has been set,
now I turn to Him and be still.I patiently sit, without a word now spoken.
My present you can take, like many things you have stolen.
But I am prepared to stand by His side, My Lord, My Savior, My All.
Take what you will, my life not my own, but in the end, All things will be your downfall.Yes Lucifer, this message is sent to you.From a child of God, one of His warriors true.
I see the fires all ablazing, but I am not scared to walk through.
Father God use this trial to ultimately glorify You.
I stand with sword in hand, and with shield ready to fight.
I am scared no longer Lord, use me to "Be A Light!"
I could bow to the temptation, run afraid from it's wrath.
But Your will will be done; Lucifer you can count on that.
Every trial ends in blessing.Every temptation endured in more strength.
Every difficulty with lessons to bare and wisdom gain.
Every struggle with a peace because temporary is the pain.
I am prepared my Father!Now is the time that I arise.
I am Your servant, and YOU ONLY my Master!Let that be known and seen by every eye!
I am ready to do battle!Amen and Hallelujah, Praise God do I joyfully cry!
Are you ready Lucifer?This warrior is set to take flight!
All things glorify You, Father God!
Even this trial!
Amen!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Prayer For Emotional Protection

Dear Father,Remind us that you have not given us the spirit of fear. Fill us with your power, love, and give us a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)


Remind us that you are not the author of confusion, but of peace. Take away disturbing and confusing thoughts, and fill our minds with your peace. (1 Corinthians 14:33)


Don't let us worry about anything. Instead, enable us to pray about everything. Earnestly, humbly, and with thanksgiving, let us make our requests know to you. May your peace, which passes all understanding, keep our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6,7)


Please heal our broken hearts and bind our wounds. (Psalm 147:3)

Cause us to fill our minds with things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report. If there is any virtue or praise, let us dwell on those things.

(Philippians 4:8)Keep us in perfect peace, because our mind is stayed on you and we trust you. (Isaiah 26:3)
Don't let us be carnally minded, which leads to death. May we be spiritually minded, which is life and peace. (Romans 8:6)

Teach us how to cast all our care on you, for you care for us. You will sustain us and never let the righteous fall. (1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22)

Remind us that we didn't receive a spirit that makes us a slave to fear, but we received the Spirit of Sonship. Because of this we can cry to you intimately, "Abba, Father." (Romans 8:15)

May we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6)

In the name of Jesus we pray,Amen
this is the love of my life.He means more to me than anything in this world..He is my bestfriend, my parnter for life my parnter in crime.. My world..He was sent to me from heaven above i dont know what i would do without this man in my life

I am the Wife Of An American Soldier

I am the wife of an American Soldier. I am a supporter of the United States Air Force - an encouragement for the protectors of the greatest nation on earth. Because I am proud of my husband and the uniform that he wears, I will always act in ways creditable to him, the military service and the nation he is sworn to gaurd. I am proud of my husband. I will do all that I can to protect and provide for my family in his absence. I will be loyal to my husband and to the vows that we made as we entered the covenant of marriage. I will do my full part to carry on the values and goals we have set apart for our family and I will continue to instruct our children in the same manner. As a soldier's wife, I realize that I play a vital role in my husband's decision to become a member of a time-honored profession - that I am doing my share to keep alive the principles of freedom for which my country stands. No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything, for pleasure, profit, or personal safety, which will disgrace my husband, his uniform or our country. I will use every means I have to encourage my husband to be the best soldier that he can be. I am proud of my husband, my country and its flag. I will fly the flag and will always remember the sacrifices made by my husband and by generations of men and women that have served our beloved country. I will try to make my husband proud of the manner in which I accept his decision to defend my freedom and the freedom of all American citizens - for I am the wife of an American soldier.As i read those words today as i have so many many many times before some of them really stood out to me. I am the one who protects my family and provides for them in his absence. I am the one who encourages him. He is the best he can be because of ME. I am faithful to him and the covenant of our marriage. I do NOTHING to disgrace him or the uniform he wears! My job as the wife of a soldier is to uphold the traditions and honor that this country stands for....not just let him do it while i wait on him to return. People look at me as his wife as much as they look at him. I am proud of him for what he does, but is he proud of me because of what i do?